During my first university degree, I wrote a paper on “On-again, Off-again Relationships”. At the time, I never understood why someone would get back with an ex. If you broke up, I’m sure there was a valid reason. If you really loved the person, you would have stayed and worked it out. About a year after writing that paper, I learned a little bit about love. I learned a little bit about pain. I learned that sometimes staying and fighting isn’t an option. And I learned that sometimes staying, is worse than leaving. Even if you love someone.
Have you ever had someone you love hurt you so much that you had to leave to protect yourself? It’s hard. Making that decision to leave someone you love. To leave something that very often makes you so happy. But do you know what’s even harder? Staying away from the person you love after you’ve left. When the hurt isn’t fresh anymore, and you begin to remember the good things that outweighed the bad. When you feel the hurt of heartbreak, and not the hurt that caused you to leave. When you begin to rationalize the bad. Convince yourself that you could avoid getting hurt like that in the future if you did things differently.
You constantly tell friends, family, and third party observers that no, you can’t go back. They remember the bad parts when you forget them. They don’t feel the love that draws you back to your partner. Their objectivity gives you strength. Helps you to remember. Helps you to see that the hurt they caused was not okay, and will never be okay. But you’re still drawn back by the happy memories. The charm. The hope that things could be better. The promises that things will change. And that damned thing they call love.